Someday.....maybe....? ERG you HOPE!!!

BOO YAW!!!!!! I am the type of person to think about things long after they are over. It's one of my many faults. At the moment tho i really really hate the fact that i do that. I wish that sometime i could just have something pretty good but bad happen to me and me not think about it forever. Last night i was texting someone and they said something that i just totally understand. It was: "Life is too complicated. Is it really too much to ask to be in love with someone and them love you back? I mean really?" It is kind of a depressing truth if you think about it.....especially in high school.... I mean to me it seems like everyone has something else going on with a different person than someone thinks. That doesn't make much sense but.....dude honestly! You start talking to a person and you kind of like him but then you hear about him talking to another person as well as you. What is with people and this drama crap??? If you don't want one person stop stringing them along with you words and actions! Be HONEST for a change and stop playing the games with people because it hurts. And then there's my own personal hole......and i can't seem to get out of it..... Who knows why i do this to myself....? I don't that's for sure! I wish that i could just go on with my life and not look back on what's lost and never coming back. Hope........HOPE. H.O.P.E. H-heartache O-obsessively P-pushed E-elsewhere i think that should be the definition of hope in the dictionary. My next question to anyone and everyone is this: If you get to know someone so well and you just click with that person.....but then you don't have that person.....if you hang out with them again do you both naturally fall back to the way it was? Or should it not be like that? Should it not be that easy? I've asked myself that over and over and over again but have had no briliant epiphaney as of yet but, there again, I've gotta hope. I fall back into the easyness of it all. I fall back to old habits and act dorky and insane and just me....i act like me. Strangely enough it's alot like it used to be....or at least last night it was. There was joking and hitting and licking and funny faces and laughing....lots and lots of laughing, and it felt right to me.....it felt like it should be like this every day all the time. Then the buzzer sounded and the spell was broken and we went our seperate ways and i'm pretty sure that today is gonna be at least as bad, if not worse than yesterday was. =( On that fairly depressing note i cannot leave....so i'll say this as my last.......I, surprisingly, kinda like my hole if i get this every once in awhile. lol yes I'm grasping at straws but hey, when in hell.....cook marshmallows and make smores lol =) ;-)