yes i'm repetetive

I do realize that most of what i talk about has to do with boys but thats just the way it is i guess lol. Well anyways i'm in a really good mood lately =D We had a swim party for PAC and we watched the boys shave their heads and it was SO funny. While we were down in Mike's (one of our swim coaches) basement i made a new friend. We talked the whole time we were down there and then more once we went upstairs. He cracked me up! Well he knew my friend stephanie and got my number from her and we talked some more that night. The next day at PAC we talked and hung out practically the whole time. (Mike ended up making fun of me cause we were together so much) Like half the swim team asked if we were dating and it was just like no not really. Monday we had a home meet and during diving we were all sitting outside against the bleachers and a couple people started discussing me and him and how they thought we should go out (bf/gf). Now if you don't know me i'll tell you right now my face turned RED (it does that very easily whether i'm actually embarrassed or not) and i told them that it wasn't up for public discussion and if we were going to go out that they would have no part in it. He leans over and is like do you want to go out with me? of course i was like yea =) so i'm pretty happy bout that. Then Yesterday (wednesday) i stayed after practice with him for beachless volleyball and this homecoming practice thing for his brother and his bro's gf. We were down in the band hallway and Sam Baumgart has horrible timing. Okay so we ended up kissing =) and now im really happy =) =)

Someday.....maybe....? ERG you HOPE!!!

BOO YAW!!!!!! I am the type of person to think about things long after they are over. It's one of my many faults. At the moment tho i really really hate the fact that i do that. I wish that sometime i could just have something pretty good but bad happen to me and me not think about it forever. Last night i was texting someone and they said something that i just totally understand. It was: "Life is too complicated. Is it really too much to ask to be in love with someone and them love you back? I mean really?" It is kind of a depressing truth if you think about it.....especially in high school.... I mean to me it seems like everyone has something else going on with a different person than someone thinks. That doesn't make much sense but.....dude honestly! You start talking to a person and you kind of like him but then you hear about him talking to another person as well as you. What is with people and this drama crap??? If you don't want one person stop stringing them along with you words and actions! Be HONEST for a change and stop playing the games with people because it hurts. And then there's my own personal hole......and i can't seem to get out of it..... Who knows why i do this to myself....? I don't that's for sure! I wish that i could just go on with my life and not look back on what's lost and never coming back. Hope........HOPE. H.O.P.E. H-heartache O-obsessively P-pushed E-elsewhere i think that should be the definition of hope in the dictionary. My next question to anyone and everyone is this: If you get to know someone so well and you just click with that person.....but then you don't have that person.....if you hang out with them again do you both naturally fall back to the way it was? Or should it not be like that? Should it not be that easy? I've asked myself that over and over and over again but have had no briliant epiphaney as of yet but, there again, I've gotta hope. I fall back into the easyness of it all. I fall back to old habits and act dorky and insane and just me....i act like me. Strangely enough it's alot like it used to be....or at least last night it was. There was joking and hitting and licking and funny faces and laughing....lots and lots of laughing, and it felt right to me.....it felt like it should be like this every day all the time. Then the buzzer sounded and the spell was broken and we went our seperate ways and i'm pretty sure that today is gonna be at least as bad, if not worse than yesterday was. =( On that fairly depressing note i cannot leave....so i'll say this as my last.......I, surprisingly, kinda like my hole if i get this every once in awhile. lol yes I'm grasping at straws but hey, when in hell.....cook marshmallows and make smores lol =) ;-)